That’s right folks, its holiday time again, and that means we break out the official Festivus beer and celebrate Frank Costanza’s favorite holiday. Click the pic for a link to the brewer’s site.
The Wikipedia site will give you all the necessary details of the holiday, but I post this as a challenge to my fellow bloggers. I will post the story of Festivus, as told by the great man himself, and I request that my comrades in blog compile a creative and at least mildly entertaining missive about each of the following elements of this holiday, and I put each element to a specific individual for reasons known only to me-and anyone else reading.
The story of Festivus is chronicled on the Wikipedia site, but let’s let Frank tell us, in his own words. While I am a big fan of any holiday that includes a miracle; my son will not be getting any dolls, which may help explain some of George’s minor insecurities…In addition, I encourage everyone to get their own Festivus Pole but hold the tinsel; it’s distracting.
The Festivus Dinner-This one goes to our favorite chef, BAM! No, not Emeril-High Desert Diva. Diva, can you hook us up with a Festivus Feast true to the original?
The Airing of Grievances-Couldn’t be anyone but Squirrel, and of course the lovely GeekDarling as they share a love of, well, grievances.
The Feats of Strength-Anyone who can proselytize with a chainsaw must have a few feats of his own-go to it Preach.
I eagerly await the continuation of the Festivus tradition on SNM, and I wish everyone a Happy Festivus and whatever else you may celebrate. This requires a picture, so you’re gonna have to do a little work. You all have my apologies that this year’s post didn’t include titties, but perhaps that can be remedied in the Airing of Grievances. Perhaps if this girl is involved it could be in the Feats of Strength or, come to think of it, even the Feast. I leave it entirely up to the participants as to decide how vulgar they wish to be. By the way, the greatest part about finding that picture is that all I had to type in Google was “Huge Tits”, although I elected not to use dailytug.com as my source. Notice I didn’t link that one; as happy as I am to redirect your ass all over the web, we need cash money if the porn sites want the hookup-that’s how we roll.
December 19th, 2006 at 1:42 am
Despite the fact that you used my name in the same category as Emeril, I shall cater your event.
I read your links and I’m not going to make a turducken. They’re pretentious and a pain in the ass to prepare. Following the spirit of the Festivus Dinner they served on Seinfeld (I’m going by the info I found in your links, as I never saw that episode), I shall prepare various types of pot pies. They’re simple, hearty, and shall provide nourishment in preparation for the Feats of Strength, AND, should the Airing of Grievances get out of hand, we can commence a new Festivus tradition–The Hurling of Pastry and Meats.
December 19th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
Oops!
I meant to say, “Despite the fact thay you PUT ME in the same category as Emeril, I shall cater your event.”
The fricken BAM! annoyed and distracted me.
December 19th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
What do you mean, we share a love of grievances? Are you trying to say that we like to complain?
You know where you can stick your Festivus Pole…
December 19th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Ha! Geeky rules my face!
December 21st, 2006 at 7:06 pm
*chuckle* oh, no… geeky and hdd airing greivances??? Say it isn’t SO!
I *heart* festivus. I love that episode. Kramer is awesome, he’s just an ass as a regular person. I choose to split his personality… nothing like schitzophrenia to make the world a better place.
December 21st, 2006 at 7:31 pm
“Rules my face”
What does that mean?
December 21st, 2006 at 8:13 pm
I don’t know, actually. I just heard one of the cool kids say it once.
December 22nd, 2006 at 9:06 am
It means that you’re “da bomb”. It means you’re funny and cool. My face (expression) can be dictated by what you say (type). ie: I laughed when I saw what you wrote to Moose.
December 24th, 2006 at 12:27 am
I didn’t even know this site exisited!
Is Chainsawpreacher over here??
I miss him.
December 26th, 2006 at 12:26 am
Binsky,
Yeah, Chainy lives here. This is the same site as before, they just ramped it up a bit. I think Chainy’s a secret agent or something and is currently working undercover or something.
Dudes here rarely respond to their comments….
SNOBS!!
December 29th, 2006 at 8:59 am
Ha-haw! Snobs!
Nice “About” Page…
=P